Markets Rebound on Impending Western Victory!
Posted: Tue Jan 17, 2012 6:25 pm
The streets through out the Western world have begun falling silent as the Acronym Army's fight against the Red Cossacks has seen sweeping successes over the past several weeks. The violent protests have all but disappeared from Europe and most of the military action is now occuring in the Middle East. Stockmarkets have started to recover slightly, but with the greatest gains remaining in the military sectors, experts question what will happen when the conflict ends. As the public mourns the loss of more than 22,500 soldiers, and many more injured in the short two months since this conflict began, hopes are high that it will end soon.
To answer the cries for relief from the public and give the consumer markets a boost, the Acronym Army launched a three tiered assault in the Middle East this week in an effort to secure Western oil rights for the foreseeable future.
The first of these attacks occured in Qatar, a vital petrolium export point in the Persian Gulf. This port provides access to the oil rich lands of Saudi Arabia and easy export through the Straight of Hormuz.
"Now that we had a secure route for our forces to enter the area it was time to enact General Brummie's 'Operation Tycoon'." explained Colonel Hitman. "The idea was to quickly sieze control of all major oil production, processing and export facilities while at the same time controlling vital shipping lines. It seems to have worked exactly as planned"
The next attack in this assault occured in Baghdad, where WIRA forces siezed control of some of the world's largest oil reserves.
"Woo! I don't know what get's me higher! The fumes off those oil wells or killin' commies!" exclaimed Captain Woodenplank. "and today I got to do both!"
"That oil the birthright of our fathers!" said Major .Sup. "The divine providence of General Sushi shall see it rejoined with the motherland. The infidels will pay for their insolence!"
The final step in 'Operation Tycoon' was to take Jeruselem and reopen the Suez Canal.
"Our tanks didn't even stop rolling in Baghdad, we just pushed straight through." said Captain VonHaz. "No sense in having the oil if you can't move it to where you need it."
"The Chop Shop suffered heavy armor losses in both Qatar and Baghdad." admitted Major ChefCook. "We requested reinforcements from Jeruselem thinking that those dogs would stay and defend their prize in Baghdad. Unfortunately they didn't and when they arrived in Jeruselem only a few broke down APCs were still in the city. Still we destroyed many of their tanks as well, and the armor that used to be in Jeruselem is in hiding, awaiting the perfect opportunity to strike back!"
With all three of these regions under WIRA control it certainly seems as if General Brummie's plan has worked. The markets jumped nearly 300 points on the hopes that the precious crude will soon be flowing umimpeded once again.
Though this week's major operation occured in the Middle East, WIRA anti-militant forces were busy clearing out the last identified RED BEAR squad in Europe. According to WIRA intelligence services the squad was located in Vienna, reportedly the European operating headquarters for the RED BEARs.
"The Intel weenies really hit the jack pot on this one." said General Brummie. "Not only did we find a massive ammo cache and documents detailing many planned operations, but we caught the guy from the videos claiming to be the Mooktu, er, Muck tuck, er...well the RED BEARs leader."
"Lies, Filthy Lies!" exclaimed General Sushi denying General Brummie's claim. "The Muktar of my beloved Immortal Guard would never allow himself to be captured! They may think they have eliminated the guard, but they are immortal! I'm sure the Muktar has a very good reason for his absence."
Whether the claim is true or not GC News was unable to track down this individual for comment. If it does hold true this could be a major blow to the leadership of the Red Cossacks, or the precurser of an explosive counter strike.
With the world seeming to fall back into order and the stock markets starting to recover the West seems close to victory. Analysts predict that if the Acronym Army can maintain their present level of control the Red Cossacks will fold under the economic strain in the next couple of weeks. The Cossacks promise not to go down with out a fight though and one never knows what will happen on the battlefield.
To answer the cries for relief from the public and give the consumer markets a boost, the Acronym Army launched a three tiered assault in the Middle East this week in an effort to secure Western oil rights for the foreseeable future.
The first of these attacks occured in Qatar, a vital petrolium export point in the Persian Gulf. This port provides access to the oil rich lands of Saudi Arabia and easy export through the Straight of Hormuz.
"Now that we had a secure route for our forces to enter the area it was time to enact General Brummie's 'Operation Tycoon'." explained Colonel Hitman. "The idea was to quickly sieze control of all major oil production, processing and export facilities while at the same time controlling vital shipping lines. It seems to have worked exactly as planned"
The next attack in this assault occured in Baghdad, where WIRA forces siezed control of some of the world's largest oil reserves.
"Woo! I don't know what get's me higher! The fumes off those oil wells or killin' commies!" exclaimed Captain Woodenplank. "and today I got to do both!"
"That oil the birthright of our fathers!" said Major .Sup. "The divine providence of General Sushi shall see it rejoined with the motherland. The infidels will pay for their insolence!"
The final step in 'Operation Tycoon' was to take Jeruselem and reopen the Suez Canal.
"Our tanks didn't even stop rolling in Baghdad, we just pushed straight through." said Captain VonHaz. "No sense in having the oil if you can't move it to where you need it."
"The Chop Shop suffered heavy armor losses in both Qatar and Baghdad." admitted Major ChefCook. "We requested reinforcements from Jeruselem thinking that those dogs would stay and defend their prize in Baghdad. Unfortunately they didn't and when they arrived in Jeruselem only a few broke down APCs were still in the city. Still we destroyed many of their tanks as well, and the armor that used to be in Jeruselem is in hiding, awaiting the perfect opportunity to strike back!"
With all three of these regions under WIRA control it certainly seems as if General Brummie's plan has worked. The markets jumped nearly 300 points on the hopes that the precious crude will soon be flowing umimpeded once again.
Though this week's major operation occured in the Middle East, WIRA anti-militant forces were busy clearing out the last identified RED BEAR squad in Europe. According to WIRA intelligence services the squad was located in Vienna, reportedly the European operating headquarters for the RED BEARs.
"The Intel weenies really hit the jack pot on this one." said General Brummie. "Not only did we find a massive ammo cache and documents detailing many planned operations, but we caught the guy from the videos claiming to be the Mooktu, er, Muck tuck, er...well the RED BEARs leader."
"Lies, Filthy Lies!" exclaimed General Sushi denying General Brummie's claim. "The Muktar of my beloved Immortal Guard would never allow himself to be captured! They may think they have eliminated the guard, but they are immortal! I'm sure the Muktar has a very good reason for his absence."
Whether the claim is true or not GC News was unable to track down this individual for comment. If it does hold true this could be a major blow to the leadership of the Red Cossacks, or the precurser of an explosive counter strike.
With the world seeming to fall back into order and the stock markets starting to recover the West seems close to victory. Analysts predict that if the Acronym Army can maintain their present level of control the Red Cossacks will fold under the economic strain in the next couple of weeks. The Cossacks promise not to go down with out a fight though and one never knows what will happen on the battlefield.